Jack and Jill

Hello and Goodevening Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to another service with your host Pastor Jay. As usual, I would advise those of us watching at home, either through your TV or from your radio sets, to please put on your slippers wherever you are, for unlike me, you are probably standing on unholy ground.
Today, we’ll be looking at a very popular verse. You all know it, every little kid knows it. Children, read with me:
Jack and Jill, went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his knee,
And Jill came tumbling after.
Today, we are going to focus on three cardinal points in a topic I have titled; ‘Know your Purpose’. Repeat after me, ‘Know your Purpose’.
According to the dictionary in my i-Pad right now, Purpose means, “Reason for existence! Reason for which something is being done or the desires effect or intended outcome of something or a desire/resolve necessary to accomplish a goal.”
Now, in the passage we just read. The verse says something. Brother Sir Joe, read it again for us.
Jack and Jill went up the hill…
To fetch a pail of water…
TO FETCH A PAIL OF WATER! Hold it there! Sit down brother.
You see, Jack and Jill did not sit down at home. They were not truants! They were not lazing about tweeting and chatting. They did not say, “I want water and it would come to me.” No! They WENT UP THE HILL!!
Turn to your neighbour and say, Neighbour! They went up the hill! Turn to your other side and say, Neighbour, they went!
Jack and Jill, this passage does not make mention, but in the Amplified version, you will see that Jack and his sister Jill, both children of Janet and Johnson, climbed that hill together..
Jack could have decided to go alone, but did he? Children, did he?
He went with Jill. Put this down: “When climbing a hill, go with you Jill.” I’ll take that again, “When climbing a hill, go with your Jill.”
There are many hills in Life. Hills of trouble, hills of house rent, hills of Twitter followers, hills of blogging, so many. But in this passage, the hill Jack and Jill climbed was a hill of water. Turn to your neighbour and say, a hill of water.
Water in the Italian translation stands for acqualina which is the water that satisfies hunger and thirst! Turn to your neighbour again. Neighbour, I will climb the hill to satisfy my thirst.
So, Jack and Jill, climbed that hill to fetch a pail of water.
There was purpose in what Jack and Jill did. Purpose. Jack could have decided that he only wanted a cup of water. Or a spoon. But he told himself, he purposed in his heart. The American version would say, he DECIDED. Jack decided that he wanted a pail!
A pail of water!
You have to know what it is you want. If you want a bucket, or a pail or a jerrycan, you must say it! What do you want?
Deaconess Chidinma, please finish the passage.
Jack fell down and broke his knee..
Yes..go on..
And Jill came tumbling after…
Everybody whaaaat? And Jill came tumbling after!
Now Jack was the first person to fall down, yes or no? But did Jill stand there? No! She tumbled after.
Everybody say: My Jill, repeat after me. MY JILL, WHEREVER YOU ARE, COME TUMBLING AFTER!
Now, there are two things noticeable about this passage:
1. Jack broke his knee.
Did the passage say he broke his ankle? No! He broke his knee. There is a purpose to everything! A purpose!
2. The pail of water was intact.
Jack fell, Jill tumbled, but did the passage say anything about the pail? No!
Turn to your Neighbour, Neighbour! No matter the Hill, no matter the falling, MY PAIL OF WATER will remain intact.
Children, know your purpose.
Let us rise..

If you would like to continue this sermon or you enjoy the teachings of Pastor Jay, you can follow the blog by clicking the button at the bottom of this page or you can follow Pastor Jay on twitter @janus_aneni
Go in Peace.
Till I reach you again, same time, same station.

I do not mean any slander against any religious organization, televangelist and whatnot.

Follow the blog and do follow me on twitter @janus_aneni

PS: About Tangles! would come up tomorrow. Due to unforeseen difficulties we couldn’t have it tonight. Ok.


Tangles!: Episode IX

All blame is placed on the evil owners and operators of the Globacom Network. They of course, blame the network failure on technical issues. Apparently, two of their very, very important wires Tangled in the wrong place so uhm..it spoilt the uhm..network on both Blackberry, Android and modem.
Yes. It is sad.
We resume..

Tangles! – a tale of twisted emotions.


Why do men do what they do? Why do they live the lives they live? Is it Fate that propels them, placing factors to determine their every step? Or do they simply play out a role afore written by the ghostly hand of a silent creator?

The hospital had never been his destination. Never. The words had been discrete, simple and yet obscure. Nevertheless their meaning had been clear.
“To create, you must destroy. To teach, you must scold. You strike while the iron is hot and the centre would not hold.”
The meaning was clear.
So what was he doing here? What was he doing with her?
He opened the satchel.


The last day of Camp was the worst. All it took was five seconds. Five seconds and the decorum and order the Camp had maintained for three weeks descended into a new brand of anarchy. At one moment, the parade had been grinding to a halt with the final remarks and vote of thanks being offered. In the next moment, the colours had marched off the field and disorder took precedence.
The Corpers scurried from one end of the compound to another. Clearance, letters, assignments, the world was in chaos. And in every corner, girls clung to each other and to anxious looking young men:
“I will miss you..”
“You will call right..?”
Tony was sitting in a cushioned chair hanging at 3,600ft above Lagos. He wasn’t missing anyone at the moment and he sure as hell could not call. He checked his phone again, the Glo network bar was still at SOS.
He would soon see her.
The plane continued to descend.


“Doctor, are they here yet?”
He had asked this question four times now. Dr. Akpan only smiled. He could understand. It was a common phenomenon with patients especially during convalescence. The fear that with recuperation, their loved ones who had showered them so much attention before, had gotten bored.
In truth, the patient was getting exasperated. His ribs were on the mend, and the torn muscles were beginning to respond again. He had started physiotherapy, with one hour of light cardio in the morning and though his body had lost upward of 15kg, he was doing good. Even the scars were beginning to look sexy. Already he had a good, dangerous sounding story for the girls, about the long curved scar under his armpit. All he needed was to get out of the hospital and back to the world.
Paul took stock of the hospital room that had become his home for some days now. He was sitting on the sheets, white nylon joggers covering the scars on his knees and thigh. On the TV, a bearded preacher was predicting Obama’s loss in the coming US polls. The room looked bare now, the EKG and the rest of the scary machines haven been removed a while ago.
Paul’s wounds had healed quickly, though his naked, massive chest remained partially wrapped in bandages and plaster to bind his splintered ribs.. Someone who knew the well built giant a few weeks ago would have been hardpressed to recognise the husk he had become. His body was still formidable but with his hollow eyes, his laboured breathing and the limp in his gait, it was obvious this was a man who had been through hell, recently. The massive forest of coarse black hair planted on his face and neck didn’t seem to help matter much. But as he was in a hospital, he might as well look the part; that was the reason he had given Shae for not shaving.
“Take a deep breath,” ordered Dr Akpan.
Paul complied.
“Where does it hurt?” the doctor asked.
“Nowhere. I’m fine,” replied Paul hiding a wince.
The doctor nodded knowingly and whispered something that sounded suspiciously like “Morphine” to the nurse.
Paul grinned and turned back to his i-Pad. The sins of working in a cut-throat bank, if you wanted them to cover the insurance on your crashed car, you had better be ready to resume work as soon as you could see out of both eyes.
“Doctor, I am working on a brief. I can’t be drugged.”
“Then you had better drop it. I don’t understand you bankers. Don’t they know you’re in the hospital?” asked Dr Akpan incredulously.
“My question exactly,” returned Paul, winking at the nurse.
Doctor Akpan grinned. The nurse smiled.
“I’m glad to see your ordeal hasn’t worsened your sense of humour,” joked Akpan.
Paul laughed, softly. He couldn’t laugh his usual booming laugh even if he wanted to, the effort would deliver him into a painful paroxysm of coughing. Last time, he had coughed so hard he literally heard his funny bone snap! He laughed gently now.
“Humour ke? Dat one no concern me. My own issue Doc, is if you’ll allow me drive out of here.”
“Drive? No way! I’ll let your girlfriend pick you though.”
As the doctor left, the nurse lingered for a brief second to drop a small note with what looked like a series of numbers. Paul grinned. She was the one who gave the nice massages right? He slipped the note into his pocket.
At that moment, his i-Pad went into Sleep mode and the screen dissolved into a picture of him and Becks at the Eko hotel. And Fate seemed to speak to him.
His girlfriend eh?


There she is. She doesn’t look pregnant. Did she lie?
Those are the thoughts going through his mind now, guessed Rebecca. She was only half wrong.
It had been raining when they landed, so Tony had to half-sprint across the tarmac. His thoughts had been intent on getting a taxi to Ikeja, then calling her to find out where to meet. It was shocking to pass through the gate and find her standing there staring and waiting. His first thought had been; Oh shit! I’m wet! The second had been; She doesn’t look pregnant.
When Rebecca left the house that morning, her first stop had been at a supermarket to pick something up for Paul. She had run into an old friend there and spent quite a while chatting over meatpies. Then Tony’s text had come through. Apparently, he was headed to the airport to land in two hours or less, and he would want to see her.
Impulse is one of the most familiar traits of pregnant women, or so Rebecca told herself as she raced to the airport. She had not waited long before the arrival of the Azik Airline jet was announced. So here she was, wiping her hands nervously on the legs of her jeggins and staring at the man who first loved her.
“You came..?”
“I did”
“Happy Independence.”
They hugged stiffly. A stiff hug, but a lot was said in that brief press of bodies. Some was understood, but much was mistaken, as we would find out later.
“So…you don’t look pregnant..”
Rebecca burst out laughing. “I knew it! I could always read your mind!”
And as it is with old relationships, such statements evoke different sensations and a certain level of pain. They smiled.
“Let’s go Corper,” said Rebecca, recovering first. “Welcome back to Lagos.”

I shall continue this..One last time…

*The typos are definitely intentional and act as a true test of the reader’s intellect!(˘̯˘ )
*I have no idea how pregnant women look. ( ._.)
*I actually do like the Globacom network. Which accounts for why I have a Glo phone and modem. Now that I think of it, not so much of a smart plan was it?

The Next Episode would be the LAST episode of Tangles! So, the floor is open. Predict how Tangles! will end!!! There’ll probably be a prize for the best prediction..
And yes, the Interview of the Writer and the scoop, I guess, behind Tangles! would be up very soon. Saturday perhaps…or Friday.

Follow on twitter @janus_aneni


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