Cupid rants..

I’ve never really had a true love story, but I have been close. Like there was this time I was in a cab in Uniben, squeezed in the back seat with Obagol, Edeko and one hot chick. I said hi to her and she said hi too, then she dropped off at Faculty.

I still think of her. We would have had a lovely story shey? Like,”OMG..We met in a cab one hot Thursday afternoon, he said hi to me,I replied, and look at us now, five years later, married…”


Well, romantic though I am, I have always drawn the short end of the stick or straw or broom or whatever. Like see Jeannie, who I crushed on all through 300 level, Jeannie who made me spend countless nights ‘reading’ at H3 in faculty. Jeannie who I only ever said two words to (What? I was shy then… still am even). I now set P with a random handle on Twitter one day and voila! and Moses’ beard! It was Jeannie! Perfect story shey? Wrong. Didn’t work out. The P died.

Have you ever noticed a P dies about two chats after it leaves the DM to the BBM? No? Now you know the true reason why iPhone relationships prosper.

But I digress..

So what was I saying? Yes, Love. I have never really had the opportunity for those stories. Ada that I met in a bus in the middle of New Benin at about 9pm and escorted back to Ekosodin at the risk of life and limb,only to find out that she had just transferred to my class. Coincidence? No such thing. Did the P work? No.
(._. )

I could count on many fingers the amount of P set and lost. Maybe it’s me. Shey?

But not to bore us this evening.

Today,I want to talk about how I, who had no prior Val as at 3pm yesterday was confronted with two today and is sitting alone on the floor in his room writing about failed Ps. The luck of the draw shey? Maybe.

When I was younger, I used to dream of how in time soon to come I would be on an adventure and meet the girl of my dreams. We would race through the Amazon jungle and around poisonous reptiles and beasts, being chased by gold-digging, nuclear-armed thieves and assassins with a plan to take over the world, while deciphering ancient secrets and magic portals along the way.
Then we would have kids who will be tall and handsome and strong and smart and then we would have other adventures together and have books and movies named after us, starring us e.t.c. And yeah, we’ll dine with the Queen and they’ll make me a Lord and I’ll have a Ferrari and a Bentley and I’ll meet James Bond face to face.

Hi, my name is Janus, I dream.

The truth here is, when I started this post, I had a point, a message I had to get across. Like, I was on Twitter, following the #RosesareredVioletsareblue trend and trying my best to reason out the most sardonic rhymes (and failing), when I suddenly had a strong urge to write. A biting need it was, blinking on and off in my subconscious, propelling me to put pen to paper. Or maybe it was the blinking yellow light off my low battery indicator. Either way, I got off the bed, sat on the floor and began to write and now, that need is gone.
(._. )

( ._.)


This is the point where I say something funny to round off the post, write a disclaimer and urge you to follow me on Twitter @janus_aneni and then wish you Shalom or something.

But, nah…




Truth is, she took off her top and inspiration’s taken a new turn.. So err..


I was talking about a car.

I did say ‘Shey’ too many times in this post…shey?

NB: thanks to @Ebubay and @Obee_007 for this.

Follow on Twitter @Janus_aneni


Author: Christopher Aneni

Histrionic| Creator| god.

22 thoughts on “Cupid rants..”

  1. Janus you no well oh! Is this supposed to be a story? This writers block is really taking a toll on you. Come to lag lemme be ur inspiration.


  2. Krix diz story is shit…….I agree wit bosslady,,,d block is takin it’s toil on u. Y didt u wait 4 d block 2 unblock totally b4 pikin up a pen n paper,,,,u ar drivin bakwadz dude……


    1. Err,why so pained?Do you have a sense of humour? cos you didn’t like the story does not make it shit but hey it’s your opinion..


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