The Janus Lieber


Do you know the worst thing about the new Star Trek movie? I just saw it today, I know, but, did you notice that part where the guy who plays Sherlock in Sherlock was running across the road, and those futuristic cars that float in the air had to screech to avoid hitting him? You did shey? Screech oh! Screech! Like they had to go, craaaaaas..shrreeee…screeeech to avoid him. Cars that float in the air. Screeching. Later they’ll put J. J. Abrams on par with Spielberg. Zeb Ejiro-wannabe nigga!

Pah!

Anyway, today halfway through my weekly blog rounds (any period of Free Wifi when there’s nothing to do except wait for downloads to finish and laugh through awesome posts), I remembered I’ve not posted my Lieber and ehm..well, I’m supposed to, at least before I’m no longer eligible. So, I went back to the place where I was nominated and then I…

Wait.

This is not how they do it.

Let’s start afresh. The Liebster blog award.

The Liebster Blog Award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 wordpress followers. The Meaning: Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome.”

What? I qualify. I’m pleasant and cute and welcome. I’m a very welcome guy really.

Okay, when I got nominated for the Liebster, I was shocked, and pleased, and annoyed it hadn’t come earlier. What? I’m cocky on Fridays. Yes, I think it was a Friday. [Tell me, please tell me, you saw something there. No? Nothing? All that pum, nothing poked out? Okay, I’m overdoing this.] Anyway, it was really surprising when Haphenie nominated me for the Liebster, cool peoples she is, but I admit I did not know she thought that highly of me. It was an ego boost that day, the pleasure kept me going for weeks, that is until almost a month later when I realised I didn’t even comment on the post to say my thanks. I’ve been shy about it since. Forgive me Haphenie.

Thank you so much for nominating me. Thank you. Really meant a lot. I would send you a kiss smiley, but I don’t have your pin or your phone number. Email me maybe?

Thank you really.

It’s Christopher.aneni@yahoo.com

Moving on. First thing, the RULES.

Like a secondary school friend used to say, Lures and legurations. I found it funny then. I still laugh now. Over eight years since I saw him, and it’s still funny. Come to think of it, he was Igbo. Explains a lot. LOL!

Sorry. I don’t really have much cause to laugh these days. (˘_˘)

LOL!

Lures. Legurations. LOL!

Oh my..

RULES. LOL

The Rules

  • Thank the person who nominated you
  • List 11 random facts about yourself
  • Answer the questions they have asked you
  • Nominate 11 other people
  • Ask the nominees 11 questions

And yeah, let them know you nominated them.

Okay, I’ve thanked Haphenie. Now, the Janus Facts of Random.

  1. I started writing before I can remember. Till date I have family friends who haven’t seen me in maybe sixteen years come over to the house and go, “Hey, do you still write all those your stories?” Then they go into paroxysms of laughter. (¬_¬)
  2. My driver’s license gives me at 1.74m. I think it’s a lie. I’m taller.
  3. I started keeping an afro in a very serious effort to look like Drake. Now I look like a cross between Mexican Bruno Mars and The Weeknd.

    Mexican? Really? I'm already half Puerto Rican!
    Mexican? Really? I’m already half Puerto Rican!
  4. My favourite rock band is Mumford and Sons.
  5. I started blogging because of @RavingFred and my initial mentors then were @Sirkastiq, @Wana____ and somebody else from TheNakedConvos, I forget now.

    In case you wondered, that there, in the centre? That's the point..
    In case you wondered, that there, in the centre? That’s the point..
  6. Haphenie isn’t the first person to nominate me for a Liebster. The first person who did, made the mistake of notifying me via the comment box on my blog. I saw the comment, assumed it was spam, and deleted it. I was new to WordPress then, forgive me. If you’re out there, I don’t hate you. I love you in fact. Thank you in ehm..incognito?
  7. I love sleeping on the floor. Not because my rug is that soft. My bed is a bit lumpy, and it’s a good way to get girls to say: “Haba na, that hard floor? Oya come and join me on the bed, or I’ll come to the floor with you.” 😀
  8. I want to be a writer when I grow up. A real writer. With millions of publications, and a jet, like John Grisham. I also want to teach. I love to talk to people. Robert Ludlum (his soul rest in peace), is one of my favourite authors. And a mentor.
  9. I realise I must have listed more than one fact in (8) above.
  10.  One of my favourite quotes is, “Moderation in all things, including Moderation. – Petronius”. It’s a maxim really. Another fave is, “Christophorus Christum, sed Christus substulit orbem: constiterit pedibus dic ubi Christophorus?” That’s the Eternal Conundrum.
  11.  I’m a Christian. I love GOD. I fear GOD. I worship GOD. You should get to know HIM.

Okay, we’re done with that.

Now, the hard part, the questions Haphenie asked me.

1. What do you treasure most?

Family. Friends. Maybe my reputation. My external Hardrive with over 500GB of important stuff. [>_>]

2. Who is your icon?

Most of my icons are fictional characters. Characters created by me inclusive. None of these humans are good enough.

3. One word that best describes you?

Histrionic. It means theatrical. Dramatic. I tend to grossly overplay scenarios. I’m a drama queen, according to my girlfriend. What does she know? *adjusts tutu*

4. If you had the power to make a permanent change in the world, what will it be?

Love. Brotherly love. By a wave of hand, if I could, I’ll place brotherly love in all our hearts. No, Macklemore. No. Not you.

5. What won’t you be caught dead wearing?

Well, I wore a satin nightgown in the middle of a drunken fit last night, but nah..won’t be caught dead wearing them.

6. What is your favorite fashion accessory?

My bracelets. My younger sister makes them. At a very steep price I tell you! Like 1000N for one! I mean, we’re family! And you’ll wonder why I never buy her recharge cards.

7. Is there any part of your body you aren’t comfortable with?

Ehm…when I was younger I had this very long head. Well, I sport a wicked afro now. Hahahahahahaha! Die haters!

8. In the next five years, where do you see yourself ?

In school. Studying for my PhD. ( ,_,)

Sugar-less garri life, i tell you…

9. Favorite cartoon character?

LOOOOL! I have no idea. Do you watch animation these days? These things are too hilarious. How do you choose?

10. Best movie / novel?

I love the ‘A song of Ice and Fire’ series by GRRM. Right now, I’m still thrilled by ‘The Great Gatsby’ I saw yesterday.

11. Your favorite sport?

I can swim. It’s got to be my best eh?

Okay, we are done with that. Now, the nominees.

In no particular order, and maybe selected based on some kind under-table sorting:

Malick, Cikko, Owex_, Zeenike, Haphenie, Vundie, Jyte Dunni Dammyoguns ehm…a lot more people I would love to include in this list, but alas, either they’ve gone past the limit of 200 wordpress followers or they are on that wretched blogspot.com. *spits*

Anyway, my questions for them:

  1. Do you love cheeseballs?
  2. Given a choice between three 1000N notes and ten 200N notes, which would you pick?
  3. Without reserve, to what degree do you think I’m awesome?
  4. Who’s your favourite novel/movie/cartoon/animation character?
  5. Why do you write?
  6. Do you love cheeseballs? Do you plan to make a career out of writing? Explain. (Yes, my ‘The Teacher’ moniker is not joke)
  7. Rats or roaches?
  8. If I were a contestant in the Presidential elections, would you vote me?
  9.  What is your opinion of the Eternal conundrum?
  10. If GOD is Sovereign and knows all, what is the point of prayer?
  11. Do you read ‘motivational’ books? [This determines whether I kick you off any future Leiber lists I may draw]

Well, that’s it folks. the Leibster post is at an end.

That string of Latin, for those of us too lazy to google, reads simply: “Christopher bore Christ; Christ bore the whole world; Say where did Christopher then put his foot?”

Don’t forget to follow those amazing writers I nominated. Visit their blogs, loads of awesome stuff.

Like our page on Facebook, click on the Follow button at the top of your screen, and follow me on Twitter @janus_aneni

Peace to mankind.

PS: I really love cheeseballs. And I’m going to get some flak over this post.

Oh yeah...
Oh yeah…
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Author: Christopher Aneni

Histrionic| Creator| god.

33 thoughts on “The Janus Lieber”

  1. I’m first? Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! !! !
    “Lures and legurations”..I found that funny..lol..
    And yh, thank you Hephanie for nominating Janus.:-)
    P.S:I absolutely think cheeseballs are disgusting! Err..bye

    Like

  2. LOL. It took you long enough. Oh – and your afro isn’t as ‘bountiful’ as you think. I can still see suggestions of your cucumber-shaped head. But that is slander for another day…right now, na to answer these TOEFL questions:

    “Do you love cheeseballs?” I really like girls.

    “Given a choice between three 1000N notes and ten 200N notes, which would you pick?” This question is a no-brainer for five-year olds. I have a cousin who still goes, “gimme plenty money,” and he adores me for my ten N10 notes….that said, I’ll take the three N1000 notes. I am not retarded. Thank you.

    “Without reserve, to what degree do you think I’m awesome?” Is there a non-gay way to answer this question?

    “Who’s your favourite novel/movie/cartoon/animation character?” Favorite novel: False Memory by Dean Koontz. The novel is so flawed, I love it. Favorite movie? V for Vendetta. Favorite animation character. It’ll change tomorrow, but tonight it is Eric Cartman.

    “Why do you write?” It achieves the effect of masturbation…without having to clean up afterwards.

    “Do you plan to make a career out of writing? Explain. (Yes, my ‘The Teacher’ moniker is not joke)” It may come as a shocker to some, but nope, I don’t intend to. Why? I dunno. Really. I don’t.

    “Rats or roaches?” If I absolutely have to choose, rats, please. I hate the smell of cockroaches. Plus – rats don’t fly. Cockroaches are the 11th plague, I’m sure.

    “If I were a contestant in the Presidential elections, would you vote me?” LMAOOOO No.

    “What is your opinion of the Eternal conundrum?” I read it in latin. I read it in english. I have this nice blank stare to show the audience. 😐

    “If GOD is Sovereign and knows all, what is the point of prayer?” If your dad is the one who put you in school and he knows about the school system, what is the point of asking for school fees? idk mehn…

    “Do you read ‘motivational’ books? [This determines whether I kick you off any future Leiber lists I may draw]” LMAOOOOO NO. And that is the correct answer, guys. Say no. Say no. Say no so that uncle Janus will include you in his next list and share sweets and cookies….

    Thanks for nominating me. It is an honor. Really it is. I am oozing liquid joy (from my eyes. My eyes. Just thought to clear that out.)

    Thanks again, Janus.

    Like

  3. Sadly, you already mentioned that you have a girlfriend. I woulda jumped and said “nice post—->The Weeknd—->Mumford and Sons—->Marry me”.

    Like

  4. Lures and Legurations. That had me in stitches. See, what did my people ever do to you Nigerians, now? Mind yourselves before we secede again, oh.
    A long head and and Afro? I’m kinda reminded of a matchstick. No?
    You nominated me! Yay!! *batting my eyelashes* Just let me gather my wits and I shall reply. Yay!
    Oh, and yes, u deserve it.

    Like

  5. *Exhales* I truly didn’t know the meaning of the phrase “I have no words” until I read this post. You shud not only be nominated,but awarded severally! Awesome piece!!!

    Like

  6. Thank you for making me realize I didn’t waste my vote😘. Since I’ve done one leiber post on my blog, I will just answer your questions here.
    1. Do you love cheeseballs? Who doesn’t?
    2. Given a choice between three 1000N notes and ten 200N notes, which would you pick? Biko I love quality not quantity so I will pick three 1000N notes
    3. Without reserve, to what degree do you think I’m awesome? No comment
    4. Who’s your favourite novel/movie/cartoon/animation character? Errr space is too small
    5. Why do you write? I do because I see it as a form of escape from the stress of everyday life
    6. Do you plan to make a career out of writing? Explain. (Yes, my ‘The Teacher’ moniker is not joke) don’t think so. It’s my form of relaxation from the stress that a career brings.
    7. Rats or roaches? None.
    8. If I were a contestant in the Presidential elections, would you vote me? You would hate me for voting for you
    9. What is your opinion of the Eternal conundrum? ……….
    10. If GOD is Sovereign and knows all, what is the point of prayer? Why do you tell your girlfriend you love her everyday?
    11. Do you read ‘motivational’ books? [This determines whether I kick you off any future Leiber lists I may draw]? I don’t. Same message, different cover. No time to waste time

    Like

  7. Legurations is not in my dictionary o. All of you that know the meaning and making me look like an olodo. And that eternal conundrum makes no sense to me. What does Christ have to do with your foot?!
    I see marriage proposals and a proposed superhero cape to made from your skin.
    I am just here. Scrolling.
    Lovely post. As always.

    Like

  8. Wow!….I luv.
    Was thrilled by d ‘eternal conundrum’ and ur no7 fact of random made me laff…lik kwakwakwa..LoL..it rings a bell.
    Α̲̅πϑ err still on still,Thanks to Haphenie.This is awesome
    Peace

    Like

  9. Yes, I’m back. Now, where were we? Yes, my answers… Since I’ve already done one on my blog, lemme accept the nomination here (I’d like to thank my parents, my siblings, my dog Toddy…) and answer the questions. Here goes:

    Do you love cheeseballs?
    I sense a catch here so I’m going to ahead and pretend I didn’t hear this one… I did, however, survive on cheeseballs for a weekend once.

    Given a choice between three 1000N notes and ten 200N notes, which would you pick?
    Inukwa! You’re asking an Igbo girl this one??? NEXT!

    Without reserve, to what degree do you think I’m awesome?
    Ermmmm… Ask no questions and be told no lies…

    Who’s your favourite novel/movie/cartoon/animation character?
    JACK SPARROW!!!!!!

    Why do you write?
    Because THEY make me write! The characters get in my head and play noisy games, they don’t allow me any peace till I write them out. And the girl in my head doesn’t help either, she sits there relentlessly knocking on my skull and reminding me that I have people waiting in there to be written out. She believes it’s rude to keep people waiting, you see, and… I do believe I have lost my train of thought.

    Do you love cheeseballs? Do you plan to make a career out of writing? Explain. (Yes, my ‘The Teacher’ moniker is not joke)
    God! You remind me of why I slept off during my WAEC English exam, jeez! A career of writing? I would have loved to make one, but I think I’m a little too lazy at the moment, you see.

    Rats or roaches?
    Bring ’em on! I’m not one of those girls that pretends to be scared of them and screams and clings to the nearest guy present when rats/roaches appear. Unless, of course the nearest guy speaks Spanish and drives a Mustang, then who knows?

    If I were a contestant in the Presidential elections, would you vote me?
    I’ve voted only once in my life and it was a mistake. I don’t intend to do it again.

    What is your opinion of the Eternal conundrum?
    It’s something I stay up late at night and ruminate on. Tell me when you have an answer.

    If GOD is Sovereign and knows all, what is the point of prayer?
    God bless you, my brother.

    Do you read ‘motivational’ books? [This determines whether I kick you off any future Leiber lists I may draw]
    God forbid bad thing! The books (and the writers) are a waste of space in my humble opinion, and if that means you will kick me off your future lists I’m more than willing to change my humble opinion.

    Thanks, Oga Teacher!

    Like

    1. LOOOL! No catch really..but a Long weekend with cheesy balls..well..

      See why I like this girl! I slept off in Maths Mock-WAEC that year! Right in the middle of the objectives. Reason why I never read the night before an examination.

      But this voting thing..

      Like

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