I come to you
with sweet words
with my heart as a flower in spring
the truth on my teeth
my head full of tales from when I was young
when you were all I thought and ate and saw
when you laughed and I dreamed
when silence meant happiness.
I come to you
my hopes riding on the clouds
that we would fall and we would stand
we would cry and we would laugh
in synchrony, each with the other
standing the test of time
strengthening the ties that bind.
I come to you
my arms outstretched
wanting the embrace that calmed me
wielding an olive branch
a tune in my head
a song on my lips
“Come to the middle
the middle is just fine.
Fine for a truce
a truce that satisfies .
A satisfaction that makes us come
a coming to joy.”
Claimer
- I really do have a tune in my head for the last six lines.
All in this life's journey... 
“A satisfaction that makes us come
A coming to joy.”
“You get to come.
She gets to come.
EVERYBODY gets to come.” – Oprah Winfrey.
“I came over her so I’m guess I’m an Overcomer” – Deleted Lil Wayne line.
This poem turned me on. I’ll be in the other room attending to myself.
Thanks.
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It is what DOESN’T turn you on that I want to know. Hope you washed your hands. We don’t want a sticky TL. No, we don’t.
P.S.- I found your comment in spam. Says a lot.
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Read it with a tune too..two actually.
First..something Enya-esque. Then after reading your ‘claimer’, reggae..
So..err..you were in Lagos?
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Loooool. Detty-detty Chris. It’s not like that.
The tune is my head is Enya-esque too.
Sing it and let me hear. Mayne we’ll hit studio.
😉
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Satisfaction that makes us cum tho
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Bros, come is what I wrote ooo.
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Teleola, my love, you are the queen of rhythm! (The king is Atukwei Okai…google him :D)
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Baybee, see you flattering me. I will look for him. Thank you.
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Who wouldn’t welcome one such person coming with these lyrics on the tips of her tongue… Nice word play
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Nice words, beautiful rhyms,
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Dear avid reader, please give me your twitter handle. Thank you.
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The words! Lool, I had a rap rhythm in my head tho’! Very nice..
I wanna come to The Coming..
#lonnnngpause
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You were there. No jokes.
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Why is the truth on your teeth?
I didn’t understand the metaphor in isolation and in the context of the preceding and successive line.
” my hopes riding on the clouds”
Poetry is a medium that packs a lot of meaning into a few lines. As such, you have time to read through many times and eliminate cliches such as this one.
“that we would fall and we would stand
we would cry and we would laugh
in synchrony, each with the other.”
Usually when the word ‘would’ is used in a line and the sentence isnt a question, it suggests uncertainty or a negative outcome. ‘Will’ or ‘could’ would be more appropriate in context.
Not too shabby work otherwise. 🙂
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The truth is on my teeth because there’s no way I can speak without my teeth and if the truth is on it, then it will be spoken.
Number 2 reason is alliteration.
The preceeding line
“with my heart as a flower in the spring”
depicts honesty. Spring is when flowers are no longer buds but open up. The persona is saying (s)he is coming with all feelings/emotions bared.
The next line
“my head full of tales of when I was young”
doesn’t exactly follow the previous two. But if (s)he will speak only the truth, then it is what is in the head that will be said and nothing else. It’s also a reminiscent line. And we all reminisce on true things that have happened. Still follows the path of truth or no?
Sometimes, clichés cannot be avoided. Maybe I could have found some other line though.
“that we would .. … … .. each with the other”
It is as you have said. (S)he is not privy to the outcome of this coming. Whether the other person will accept this gesture or not.
Also, ‘will’ sounds forceful. ‘Would’ is gentler, like a polite request, like the opinion/permission of the other person is sought.
I hope I was able to shed more light.
Thank you for stopping by. Do come again soon.
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