When I picked up my laptop this afternoon, it was to type something, anything. Just have my fingers play on the keyboard. You see, unlike last year when I practically lived my life behind a laptop screen averaging something like 80-100 words a minute while watching TV, since this year and my new job which only requires I handwrite descriptions, type the occasional email and spend the rest of the time relating verbally while reclining in ergonomic seats, I have not had to type as much. As such my belly has gotten flabby(-ier) and my fingers now make mistakes with every sentence, even though I am staring at the keyboard as I type. Smh. Thus I needed to write something, anything at all and it was not so difficult to find the right topic.
As everyone, well, everyone who has sense and follows me at all (this is an overlapping demographic, not concentric) knows, I have been searching for the love of my life (#LOML) desperately this year. And like every other problem I have faced, I started wondering how I would even recognize the solution if I saw it. And so, in the spirit of research and finding answers, I decided to prepare a little something for the rest of us guys who are doing the same. Here’s Janusaneni’s guide to know if you have found the LOYL (love of your life).
First off, do not expect to hear stuff like he will follow you under the rain and buy you flowers or sing the lyrics of KC and Jojo’s All my life, or something from Justin Timberlake. Nah. I am writing real life shit here. Don’t play.
Okay, here we go.
You have similar passions
You see, finding the LOYL is a lot about the person whose plugs fit well in your sockets (this is not sexual), than someone who just ticks all of your boxes. They may be the slim, light-skinned, ultra-smart version of human being you have always wanted, but if their passions do not align, after the steamy, misted over car windows sex, you would eventually get tired and break up with each other. The LOYL is that person whose passions align with yours. You love the same things and are passionate about the same (or at least similar) ideals.
Whenever you’re together, it’s always exciting
In real life there is no perfect spot. Vacation places only look superb in the brochure or on TV and by the time you are actually there, it’s not all that anymore. What makes it awesome is the Instagram filter person you are with. If every single time you are with him, at Disneyland, watching a Yoruba movie, in class, standing underneath the Eiffel tower, standing in line at the ATM or walking down a dark street, is an exciting time, chances are that’s the LOYL. With the LOYL, there is a lot of fun sitting together in the living room – even when there is no power and it’s too hot for sex, just talking.
You put “#blessed” a lot in your IG posts
Do you genuinely feel blessed to have them? Like you just look at them and wonder what in Jeremiah’s honest world did you do to deserve this human being? That there is the LOYL.
It’s more than just simple attraction
Humans are not primarily designed as monogamous. Freely choosing monogamy is what happens when you discover all you want and desire in that one person. When it is not simply attraction, when you feel secure in them, full of trust, respected, fulfilled, motivated and then loved, when you know they pray for you and wish you the very best and would die for you, when you are sure that no matter the trials that come they will be there for you. When you can risk it all for them. You have found the LOYL, b.
Do they make you want to be better?
We are our worst critics. Deep down, after all the bluster of your Twitter and the evening when you take a wet towel to your face and reveal all your scars and blemishes and ugliness, you remember all the faults you have, all the things you wish you had better. How does he or she make you feel about them? The LOYL accepts you and loves you and DESIRES you for who you really are, after seeing all of the lines and cracks, and then motivates you to want to do even better than that.
Hint: in meeting your better half, you feel motivated to be better too. So y’all can be one – Janusaneni
I dish out these wisdoms for free.
When you can be yourself with them
We pretend a lot in this world. Fake accents, fake jewelry, Instagram filters. We are politically correct and fitfam and use expensive phones we really cannot afford. But when you can get home and take off your belt, loosen the top button on your jeans and just let your belly fall out, and not have to worry about any judgment from them, you have found the one. You know you have met the LOYL when you can be yourself with them.
You just know
Finally, when you find the LOYL, you know. You just know. There is a feeling in your heart, a tingle in your belly, a persistent fluttering of dragon wings in your stomach. It’s like the early stages of a relationship, only you feel it every single time you think about them and you speak to them or are near them.
It’s never easy finding that person. You have got to be ready for them. Willing to risk and ready to fall for them. But damn, when you do, you cannot wait for the future to begin so you can be with them forever.
- This was not the product of a sappy romcom
- This was actually inspired by someone
- I have decided I am smitten
This list is not exhaustive, please include your thoughts on the matter.
Follow on Twitter @Stillweather.
GOD bless Nigeria
Photos and tips culled from: Twitter, Google Images and bustle.com