Day 4: 10 simple facts about you


So, here I am, sitting pretty, Darjeeling and someone decides why not prop up my narcissism just a little bit with this challenge? Exce-what? Excellent.

But simply because I am too narcissistic to believe myself anything else but humble, here’s me modifying the title to 10 simple facts about myself.

For a link to the previous post on this challenge, see here

10 simple facts.

• I like food.

Sure, I’ve got favourites, everybody does (pounded yam and ogbolo, etc. etc.) but, food generally, general food, I go wack am. Your boy dey finish pot, go ask dem.

• I can cook.

It’s not even a brag. I, this man, whips up a mean anything. See, guy, knowing how to cook different from say you sabi cook one particular thing.

Me, sabi cook. Give me the recipe, I go run am.

Using pidgin English obviously because the emphasis must be made.

• I love driving.

Driving is one of my favourite things. Give me a fast car with a great engine and (take out the Nigerian police and) I’ll tour the world. I love the wide spaces and scenery, the sight of life flashing past at top speed, adrenaline pumping in my veins and a tingling in my feet. I love driving.

• I like to dance.

Hehe.
If you’ve ever seen me dance, thunder fire you for the image you’re laughing at. You’re mad. But really, I love dancing. Can barely dance past moving my waist in all the gyro-directions but, damn, I love to dance.

• I hate injections.

This here is the major reason why it’s impossible for me to do cocaine. It’s so major, it comes after my very excellent upbringing and family training. Give me all the tablets of this world, and I’ll swallow them. I’ll push them up my butt if I have to, but by Jove’s Casablanca Casino, I would not take a needle up any part of my body if I can help it.

• I don’t like doing fun alone.

This here is probably why I haven’t visited more countries than I have. Also why I haven’t had as much adventure as I constantly dream. I don’t have fun when I do it alone. I want to travel with others, to run up cliffs, to swim oceans and skydive. The fun is always in the companionship, all that communalism, than in the activity.

• I love minimalist design.

Or at least, what I think minimalism is. My house is themed in two tones, and that perhaps defines everything. It’s probably a gift, my ability to put little together to define much more.

• I value comfort over wealth.

In the diamond-water paradox, I will choose water every day of the bloody week. In my books, there is less honour, less value, in winning it all, with nothing to show; no peace, no joy, no time to enjoy it. Not the current rave but, give me enjoyment everytime.

• I Iove rock music.

Got addicted it after reading a christian book about the dangers of rock music. Actually. Book about rock music groupies losing their souls after being swayed by the music of a demon-slave rocker, and all I picked from it was, “Can I listen to some of this stuff?”. Hehe. I don’t know but the stirring vocals and oft-clashing instruments express me more than most else.

• I prefer no-name brands to fakes.

I hate wearing or using fakes. Give me a no-name brand anyday, or at worst, a barely known brand, than a fake. Maybe it’s because I have a pretty strong sense of originality, or maybe it’s just secondary school and all those days watching people teased for wearing Seun John from P-Diddy. I prefer people getting their due, for what they did, let them receive. Don’t steal ideas, don’t plagiarise.

Phew. Okay, so there they are. 10 simple facts about me. What do you think?

Disclaimer

• I wrote (have been writing) this with my phone. Where the typos appear, forgive and notify.

• I really am a humble person.

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Author: Christopher Aneni

Histrionic| Creator| god.

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