Day 5: Abodes

Considering the fact that I’ve been in only four countries (including my birth country) this shouldn’t be a hard sell. There are lots and lots of countries I would live, though I haven’t ever visited them. However, the place that immediately jumps to mind at this moment is Austria.

See link to previous challenge post here

I have never visited Austria, and I’ll love to.

Austria, the home of music, of elegant waltzes and operatic concerts. What’s not to love? I want to visit Austria for the music. I want to see the opera in Vienna. To sit in a booth, elegant in my black tie, spying through my glass and oohing and aahing, at the twirls of the dancers and the oh-so-earth-shattering vocals of the singer.

I want to stroll along the streets of her cities, over thin bridges made of stone, crossing placid water. I want to hear the cries of gulls and other birds, to throw bread in the water, and then duck behind a hedge to dodge the Bundepolizei.

I want to eat at a streetside cafe near the Danube. To order fifteen different types of schnitzel and wash down with beer seasoned with gruit and thick with so much yeast. I want to eat icecream while watching a street artist strum a zither down the street.

I want to visit a convent near the Austrian Alps, to stare over the mountains and pretend I can hear the sound of music. I want to run up and down a meadow, searching for edelweiss, and throw my hands all around and scream “I have confidence!”.

I want to ski. Not in an indoor rink, but over the mountain slopes, to be dressed all in white, dark goggles on my eyes, and pretend I am James Bond, on the run from abominable snowmen sent by SMERSH.

I haven’t visited Austria, except in my dreams, but I intend to.

Disclaimer

  • I often pretend I’m Bond while zipping in a Camry around the hairpin bends of Milliken hill.

Day 4: 10 simple facts about you

So, here I am, sitting pretty, Darjeeling and someone decides why not prop up my narcissism just a little bit with this challenge? Exce-what? Excellent.

But simply because I am too narcissistic to believe myself anything else but humble, here’s me modifying the title to 10 simple facts about myself.

For a link to the previous post on this challenge, see here

10 simple facts.

• I like food.

Sure, I’ve got favourites, everybody does (pounded yam and ogbolo, etc. etc.) but, food generally, general food, I go wack am. Your boy dey finish pot, go ask dem.

• I can cook.

It’s not even a brag. I, this man, whips up a mean anything. See, guy, knowing how to cook different from say you sabi cook one particular thing.

Me, sabi cook. Give me the recipe, I go run am.

Using pidgin English obviously because the emphasis must be made.

• I love driving.

Driving is one of my favourite things. Give me a fast car with a great engine and (take out the Nigerian police and) I’ll tour the world. I love the wide spaces and scenery, the sight of life flashing past at top speed, adrenaline pumping in my veins and a tingling in my feet. I love driving.

• I like to dance.

Hehe.
If you’ve ever seen me dance, thunder fire you for the image you’re laughing at. You’re mad. But really, I love dancing. Can barely dance past moving my waist in all the gyro-directions but, damn, I love to dance.

• I hate injections.

This here is the major reason why it’s impossible for me to do cocaine. It’s so major, it comes after my very excellent upbringing and family training. Give me all the tablets of this world, and I’ll swallow them. I’ll push them up my butt if I have to, but by Jove’s Casablanca Casino, I would not take a needle up any part of my body if I can help it.

• I don’t like doing fun alone.

This here is probably why I haven’t visited more countries than I have. Also why I haven’t had as much adventure as I constantly dream. I don’t have fun when I do it alone. I want to travel with others, to run up cliffs, to swim oceans and skydive. The fun is always in the companionship, all that communalism, than in the activity.

• I love minimalist design.

Or at least, what I think minimalism is. My house is themed in two tones, and that perhaps defines everything. It’s probably a gift, my ability to put little together to define much more.

• I value comfort over wealth.

In the diamond-water paradox, I will choose water every day of the bloody week. In my books, there is less honour, less value, in winning it all, with nothing to show; no peace, no joy, no time to enjoy it. Not the current rave but, give me enjoyment everytime.

• I Iove rock music.

Got addicted it after reading a christian book about the dangers of rock music. Actually. Book about rock music groupies losing their souls after being swayed by the music of a demon-slave rocker, and all I picked from it was, “Can I listen to some of this stuff?”. Hehe. I don’t know but the stirring vocals and oft-clashing instruments express me more than most else.

• I prefer no-name brands to fakes.

I hate wearing or using fakes. Give me a no-name brand anyday, or at worst, a barely known brand, than a fake. Maybe it’s because I have a pretty strong sense of originality, or maybe it’s just secondary school and all those days watching people teased for wearing Seun John from P-Diddy. I prefer people getting their due, for what they did, let them receive. Don’t steal ideas, don’t plagiarise.

Phew. Okay, so there they are. 10 simple facts about me. What do you think?

Disclaimer

• I wrote (have been writing) this with my phone. Where the typos appear, forgive and notify.

• I really am a humble person.

Click the follow button to be notified immediately of the new posts.

Day 2: Your earliest memory

Focus, focusifies.

Started this yesterday, mostly in attempt to test my focus, and so far, it’s working.

Find link to Day 1 here.

Your earliest memory

The older I get, the more I regret not maintaining a diary. Not like it would have helped me remember my earliest memory but, considering the cobweby fog that I see staring into the past, in a decade I probably would be hard pressed to remember today. That said, my earliest memories all revolve around growing up in a little town just off the Owerri-Port Harcourt-Aba road.

Sifting through those memories, like clawing though smoke, I’m awash with feelings of laughter and discovery. Learning that water is cool, that fire was hot, and that while sand can be fun to play with, and make into many shapes, it stings when it gets in your eyes.

One memory stands out in that very dim image, motivated perhaps by the fact that the picture exists somewhere, though I cannot recall now. I am perhaps 2 years, sitting on my legs, Japanese style, a feat I can barely attempt today, while my picture is being taken. My hair is combed out in an afro, cheeks plumpy like only a lot of akamu, sprinked through with soya bean powder and the occasional spoon of milk, can do. I am wearing a tiny blue singlet with brown stripes and shorts that match, staring into the camera defiantly.

I cannot remember much else of this memory, except that I was happy. Completely happy. I was at peace with the world, at ease and encouraged to learn, expected to laugh. It’s a sharp contrast with this day in 2019, where the expectations I face are that one be sombre and learning is restricted to the belief of the herd mind.

That 2 year old kid, stares back at me now, meaty arms planted on the sandy floor of my grandfather’s compound, and dares me not to be happy, not to be at ease.

Ha. Do I have a choice?

Disclaimer

  • I regularly listen to advice from my younger selves. It’s a genuine sign of humility. Yes.
  • Also, the wisdom of your more naive self cannot be overestimated

Day 1: 5 problems with Social Media

It’s been an age, and some, posting here. But this is me again, trying my hand at this again and testing my focus with a challenge.

So here we go, with Day 1.

5 problems with Social Media

Without reservations, social media is probably the single, most significant technology since the development of the internet. Every phase and facet of modern life involves utilisation of a particular social media tool. With increasing dependence on social media for information, entertainment and even self awareness, it’s not altogether surprising that the problems associated with the tool have amplified. This is a list of five of those problems, today.

Hermitism

If you knew at first glance, the meaning of that word, you’re probably a living practitioner. I mean, no one having an active social life bandies around words like hermitism. Social media, while drawing closer the edges of the world, has delineated further the units in between. More and more loners have developed since the advent of the first ‘connected network’. While social media, as implied, is a tool for connections, it has taken to replacing face to face conversation and personal interactions, isolating communities and straining friendships.

Catfishing

Another problem that arises when personal interactions no longer exist is, people can assume identities that are either false, or worse, stolen. Simply because you can’t see them, someone could pretend to be anyone. This can be seen as freedom of expression in one verse, but victims arise in this scenarios when someone is played for a fool after believing in a false identity of another.

Self contempt

Likes, dislikes, and the fact that anyone, from anywhere, with or without prior conceptualisation, knowledge or experience, can offer opinions on anything about anyone is recipe for self loathing. Artists, and other individuals who rely on public adulation of their craft, risk much when exposed to the criticisms of social media.

Catfishes, purveying themselves as more than they are, more than anyone likely has the ability to be, in terms of wealth, beauty or some other sophistication, further diminish the self confidence of people already battling with insecurity.

False information

At the start of the internet, in 1951, it was touted as a repository for information (read:Google). Want to learn about anything, read the internet. Want to get an unbiased view on happenings around the world, read the internet. That belief hasn’t disappeared, though it should.

With social media, anyone has the ability to say anything they want and share it as verified information. This is a problem, both in cases where the broadcaster is innocent of the falsehood of their claim, and in cases where it’s completely deliberate.

PS. I am not certain when the internet started, and I didn’t bother to check. That’s a completely bogus figure up there.

Propaganda

Similar to false information, but infinitely more dangerous, is the ability that social media gives for political bodies to promote any version of the truth for the sole reason of swaying a section of the electorate. Tiny, verifiable, pieces of information are overly amplified and spiced up with dashes of complete untruth to either discredit any otherwise credible person/thing, or grossly exalt an otherwise undeserving person/thing.

So there you have it, five problems with social media, as I see it. There are definitely lots more and they aren’t going away.

#30DaysWritingChallenge

Disclaimer

  • It’s been ages since I had to do this, and if it reads a bit dry, it’s the Harmattan.
  • Yikes.

Guidelines to organizing a book launch in Nigeria

So, last night a friend of mine hit me up, we used to be quite cool back in UNIBEN and he had just written a book. I was still gushing with my praise, congratulations and “You know say my own signed copy na free na heehaw heehaw” when he added that he was having a book launch party planned. Naturally, my excitement tripled. I was seeing very visual visions of chatting, dinner and ehmmovies with the brunette sapiosexuals, when he brought me down to earth with: “Chris, can you help me out with the program. Like, what’s supposed to happen?”

That was when I realized, in typical Nigerian mien, Oga was planning a book launch party, and did not even know what it was going to be all about. So, I decided to write this post for those of you out there who are planning book launches and don’t know how to go about them. Continue reading “Guidelines to organizing a book launch in Nigeria”

Must not be Flagrante

Just Imaginations only..tbh

Jeremiah's Scribbles

Hi guys, long time? no, not really. today @janus_aneni is regaling us with one of his works. Enjoy

 

This is not..definitely, most definitely not..based on a true story. It’s just err..imaginations.

 

______________________________

It was the first time I was meeting him face-to-face. I had seen a lot of pictures though. He hardly smiled in them. His head clean shaven and smooth, a full gray beard on his square chin, the piercing eyes glaring from behind steel rimmed glasses, face lined in thick unyielding folds.

He looked a bit like that old actor with the gruff voice.

The only time you saw him smile was when he was with his only daughter and last child. Then, his craggy face would split to reveal strong teeth in a very white grin, and those eyes would take on a tenderness completely foreign to that face. Any observer would tell, this man…

View original post 1,064 more words

Teleola’s Purge

Pure.

Flexible-Minds; The Mind's Eye

Hello Everyone,

Thanks for reading through week 1 and now we made it to another week. Especially with Serena Williams winning her fifth US Open Grand Slam and her 17th in total. Okay enough.

This is Telelola’s purge and I love it because it is the poem I never got the courage to write! VERY DEEP! I hope you love it too. Submit entries to loonpurge@gmail.com or hola me @sunkit1 on twitter

plea

The Plea

 

Hey you

you with the funny hairdo.

You with the curious eyes

you that is fluent with the lies.

Look at me; I’m talking to you

Do you want to be my friend?

Beauty and brains, a perfect combination

Beauty and the geek, we’ll cause admiration.

Beauty and the beast, a poignant misconduct

Beauty and deceit, weapons of great destruct.

Step up, silly, I am not a fiend.

Answer me quickly, will you be my…

View original post 290 more words

Thanksgiving

Hello, hi everyone. Merry Christmas..I guess. Jeez, my handwriting looks like something from an Egyptian graffiti wall (y’all know I write this in my Orange book before I type and post yeah? Okay

Not the Orange book...
Not the Orange book…

It’s been a while I wrote anything new, what with Tangles! done and finished, I’ve been in some sort of hibernation, reading stuff, writing zilch(my new word courtesy Ifeoma). So I had an Intervention and according to Obee,I should “…write a rant na! Or something about Pastor Jay so that people will laugh..”

Mscheeew..because it’s easy like that. (¬_¬)

Anyway, today, I am not going to write anything funny, not one thing. The idea is just to basically talk and you with almost nothing else to do, will listen/read.

But first a recap of recent achievements

So I finally watched The Avengers!

😀

Yes..yes..y’all can congratulate me now. Thank you, thank you. It wasn’t easy you know. After searching the entire Benin city and PHC for ages in search of a good DVD, I finally swallowed my pride and downloaded the thing.

I watched it.Till the very end..

Captain Boromir of Gordor(Deceased)
Captain Boromir of Gordor(Deceased)

I hated it.Till the very end..

Maybe because of the hype and the fact I saw the movie seven months late, or perhaps because I knew every word, every move, every THING, before it even happened! That’s what you get when you have movie aficionados as friends. For Pete’s sake, even the “Puny god” thing didn’t thrill me..*sigh*..I watched The Avengers with as much interest as I would watch the FOOD channel on “How to boil an egg” day.

And I wouldn’t even watch the FOOD channel.

The “Billionaire, philanthropist..” Line was cool though.

funny-avengers-2

But I was shocked though! After all said, I wasn’t told that my favourite Canadian was in this movie!

The Canadian
The Canadian

But this isn’t about The Avengers.

This is about me being grateful for 2012. The year started on a very exciting note, and all through the days and months the lines fell for me in pleasant places. I started this blog this year, and thanks to you guys, it’s been a blast!

I remember my first blog post.

Not me...
Not me…

It was on two pages of foolscap sheets and it was titled ‘Generosity’. My blog then was two walls on the SS3 block of the FGC Ijanikin, and the name of the blog was Bible Study Fellowship. I had a partner, his name was Elias, and we would scribble stories, in our best writings, with Christian undertones/messages and sneak out at night to paste them on walls. He was..is a weird chap but a good writer.

In those days I had good dreams (literally..) and there was fire in my bones and I was a good christian lad and all that. I don’t know what happened really..oh wait, I do! American Pie.

American Pie changed my life!

American Pie
American Pie

No, I have not been to America, not even out the country..except you count 20 yards beyond the Seme Border during an excursion trip in JS1.

aw yeah
aw yeah..

Anyway, American Pie, the movie changed my life. My life prior to American Pie was like that Jason Briggs character (Jim Levenstein) minus the severe mastubatory urges and apple pie defilement. (Really if you haven’t, you should see the movies).

American-Pie

So, while on the topic (which?) I have decided I’m going into podcasts. Hehe..said that like it’s a business. Nna, I have decided to branch out into podcasts! The containers of podcast would be arriving tomoro!( ‘-‘)

*sigh*

Ignore that last bit..

I have been told by quite a number of girlfriends and uhm..others, that my voice is le selling point of moi. So, like I said the other day, instead of writing/typing till my fingers hurt, why don’t I just switch on a microphone and just talk?

( ˘̶̀ ̯˘̶́)

Well..remain expectant.

And yes, while on that topic (the podcast topic of course), I have decided y’know, as the year draws to a close and everyone branches out into more fulfilling things, All in this Life’s journey (my blog), would also branch out. In plain terms, I need a co-writer. Interested parties, do apply to my email add: christopher.aneni@yahoo.com with details and a sample of what you can do.

Apply today,get one bowl of Ogbolo free.
Apply today,get one bowl of Ogbolo free.

So back to my appreciations.

2012 was a wonderful year for me. So many accomplishments: Convocation, NYSC service, Teaching Biology, sleeping in jail, keeping an afro, opening a Twitter account etc.

There were ups and downs, with le breakups and losing Josephine, Adaora and Elizabeth!, but I discovered so much about my self, so many new abilities, so many new talents. I also made some money which I hid in my secret Ijebu bank account with codes unknown to even me.

( ‘-‘)

Oh yes, about the jail experience. Life appears very simple to you the first day you sleep in a cell. (Tell me you saw what I did there..yes? No? C’mon! Cell, Life, Simple??)

(┌_┐)

I think I’ll call 2012 a wonderful year.

Met so many new friends who impacted me in so many ways (good and bad), and reformed stronger bonds with a couple of old ones.

The path wasn’t always rosy though, and there were occasions I had to sit with my head in my hands and really question my options, but in it all, GOD kept me. 2012 would rank as the year I worked least for GOD, with all my insecurities and Noetic beliefs, but I am appreciative still!

At the beginning of the year during the Subsidy crisis and the resultant protests, I remember criticising Bakare and his horde of protesters, including that media critic called Omojuwa, charging them to wait and see for themselves if Jonathan would not prove a messiah. I am slightly embarrassed now…

Why I did just include the above paragraph.

35xt0y

While in church today, I counted my blessings and well, literally wept, GOD was truly faithful to me this year. The protection, his Grace, the denial of my US visa by some angry white lady in Abuja, my excellent GRE result with scholarship potential, the promise of a new car which seems to be entering into next year and the wonderful new friends I’ve made in both PHC and Benin, both gay and straight.

I remember last 31st Dec, when I spent the last few hours driving up and down the streets in Benin city looking for a church to ‘Cross-over’ in. Finally ended up in a Bini Anglican church though, but okpe na-khin. I learnt a lot, lit some candles, added to my Bini vocabulary, and prayed that GOD bless my 2012. He did that, the World didn’t end, I’m grateful, I am blessed.

It’s the end of the year again, and from us here(myself and pending co-writer), Merry Christmas, and have a Wonderful new year!

Disclaimer

*I still don’t know how to boil an egg.

*I have a lot more blessings which where not named in the above post. But I trust you understand.

*All typographical errors, grammatical errors, picture errors, all kinds of errors, are to be blamed on @Obee_007. Follow her on Twitter and complain on her head there..

*Josephine, Adaora and Elizabeth! were my phones..and I loved them all! Luscious silver curves, soft qwerty pads, and the most sensuous touchscreen action ever! And the OS..\\(˘⌣˘)//just heavenly.
Miss you guys!

Follow on Twitter @janus_aneni

Peace!

Jack and Jill

Hello and Goodevening Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to another service with your host Pastor Jay. As usual, I would advise those of us watching at home, either through your TV or from your radio sets, to please put on your slippers wherever you are, for unlike me, you are probably standing on unholy ground.
Okay.
Today, we’ll be looking at a very popular verse. You all know it, every little kid knows it. Children, read with me:
Jack and Jill, went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his knee,
And Jill came tumbling after.
Today, we are going to focus on three cardinal points in a topic I have titled; ‘Know your Purpose’. Repeat after me, ‘Know your Purpose’.
According to the dictionary in my i-Pad right now, Purpose means, “Reason for existence! Reason for which something is being done or the desires effect or intended outcome of something or a desire/resolve necessary to accomplish a goal.”
Good.
Now, in the passage we just read. The verse says something. Brother Sir Joe, read it again for us.
Jack and Jill went up the hill…
JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL!!! Yes..
To fetch a pail of water…
TO FETCH A PAIL OF WATER! Hold it there! Sit down brother.
You see, Jack and Jill did not sit down at home. They were not truants! They were not lazing about tweeting and chatting. They did not say, “I want water and it would come to me.” No! They WENT UP THE HILL!!
Turn to your neighbour and say, Neighbour! They went up the hill! Turn to your other side and say, Neighbour, they went!
Good.
Jack and Jill, this passage does not make mention, but in the Amplified version, you will see that Jack and his sister Jill, both children of Janet and Johnson, climbed that hill together..
Jack could have decided to go alone, but did he? Children, did he?
No.
He went with Jill. Put this down: “When climbing a hill, go with you Jill.” I’ll take that again, “When climbing a hill, go with your Jill.”
There are many hills in Life. Hills of trouble, hills of house rent, hills of Twitter followers, hills of blogging, so many. But in this passage, the hill Jack and Jill climbed was a hill of water. Turn to your neighbour and say, a hill of water.
Water in the Italian translation stands for acqualina which is the water that satisfies hunger and thirst! Turn to your neighbour again. Neighbour, I will climb the hill to satisfy my thirst.
Okay.
So, Jack and Jill, climbed that hill to fetch a pail of water.
There was purpose in what Jack and Jill did. Purpose. Jack could have decided that he only wanted a cup of water. Or a spoon. But he told himself, he purposed in his heart. The American version would say, he DECIDED. Jack decided that he wanted a pail!
A pail of water!
You have to know what it is you want. If you want a bucket, or a pail or a jerrycan, you must say it! What do you want?
Deaconess Chidinma, please finish the passage.
Jack fell down and broke his knee..
Yes..go on..
And Jill came tumbling after…
Everybody whaaaat? And Jill came tumbling after!
Now Jack was the first person to fall down, yes or no? But did Jill stand there? No! She tumbled after.
Everybody say: My Jill, repeat after me. MY JILL, WHEREVER YOU ARE, COME TUMBLING AFTER!
Now, there are two things noticeable about this passage:
1. Jack broke his knee.
Did the passage say he broke his ankle? No! He broke his knee. There is a purpose to everything! A purpose!
2. The pail of water was intact.
Jack fell, Jill tumbled, but did the passage say anything about the pail? No!
Turn to your Neighbour, Neighbour! No matter the Hill, no matter the falling, MY PAIL OF WATER will remain intact.
Children, know your purpose.
Let us rise..

If you would like to continue this sermon or you enjoy the teachings of Pastor Jay, you can follow the blog by clicking the button at the bottom of this page or you can follow Pastor Jay on twitter @janus_aneni
Go in Peace.
Till I reach you again, same time, same station.
Bless.

Disclaimer
*
I do not mean any slander against any religious organization, televangelist and whatnot.

Follow the blog and do follow me on twitter @janus_aneni

PS: About Tangles! would come up tomorrow. Due to unforeseen difficulties we couldn’t have it tonight. Ok.

Peace.

Tangles!: Episode IX

All blame is placed on the evil owners and operators of the Globacom Network. They of course, blame the network failure on technical issues. Apparently, two of their very, very important wires Tangled in the wrong place so uhm..it spoilt the uhm..network on both Blackberry, Android and modem.
Yes. It is sad.
We resume..

Tangles! – a tale of twisted emotions.

CHAPTER NINE

Why do men do what they do? Why do they live the lives they live? Is it Fate that propels them, placing factors to determine their every step? Or do they simply play out a role afore written by the ghostly hand of a silent creator?

The hospital had never been his destination. Never. The words had been discrete, simple and yet obscure. Nevertheless their meaning had been clear.
“To create, you must destroy. To teach, you must scold. You strike while the iron is hot and the centre would not hold.”
The meaning was clear.
So what was he doing here? What was he doing with her?
He opened the satchel.

11:45am

The last day of Camp was the worst. All it took was five seconds. Five seconds and the decorum and order the Camp had maintained for three weeks descended into a new brand of anarchy. At one moment, the parade had been grinding to a halt with the final remarks and vote of thanks being offered. In the next moment, the colours had marched off the field and disorder took precedence.
The Corpers scurried from one end of the compound to another. Clearance, letters, assignments, the world was in chaos. And in every corner, girls clung to each other and to anxious looking young men:
“I will miss you..”
“You will call right..?”
Tony was sitting in a cushioned chair hanging at 3,600ft above Lagos. He wasn’t missing anyone at the moment and he sure as hell could not call. He checked his phone again, the Glo network bar was still at SOS.
He would soon see her.
The plane continued to descend.

Festac
10:45am

“Doctor, are they here yet?”
He had asked this question four times now. Dr. Akpan only smiled. He could understand. It was a common phenomenon with patients especially during convalescence. The fear that with recuperation, their loved ones who had showered them so much attention before, had gotten bored.
In truth, the patient was getting exasperated. His ribs were on the mend, and the torn muscles were beginning to respond again. He had started physiotherapy, with one hour of light cardio in the morning and though his body had lost upward of 15kg, he was doing good. Even the scars were beginning to look sexy. Already he had a good, dangerous sounding story for the girls, about the long curved scar under his armpit. All he needed was to get out of the hospital and back to the world.
Paul took stock of the hospital room that had become his home for some days now. He was sitting on the sheets, white nylon joggers covering the scars on his knees and thigh. On the TV, a bearded preacher was predicting Obama’s loss in the coming US polls. The room looked bare now, the EKG and the rest of the scary machines haven been removed a while ago.
Paul’s wounds had healed quickly, though his naked, massive chest remained partially wrapped in bandages and plaster to bind his splintered ribs.. Someone who knew the well built giant a few weeks ago would have been hardpressed to recognise the husk he had become. His body was still formidable but with his hollow eyes, his laboured breathing and the limp in his gait, it was obvious this was a man who had been through hell, recently. The massive forest of coarse black hair planted on his face and neck didn’t seem to help matter much. But as he was in a hospital, he might as well look the part; that was the reason he had given Shae for not shaving.
“Take a deep breath,” ordered Dr Akpan.
Paul complied.
“Where does it hurt?” the doctor asked.
“Nowhere. I’m fine,” replied Paul hiding a wince.
The doctor nodded knowingly and whispered something that sounded suspiciously like “Morphine” to the nurse.
Paul grinned and turned back to his i-Pad. The sins of working in a cut-throat bank, if you wanted them to cover the insurance on your crashed car, you had better be ready to resume work as soon as you could see out of both eyes.
“Doctor, I am working on a brief. I can’t be drugged.”
“Then you had better drop it. I don’t understand you bankers. Don’t they know you’re in the hospital?” asked Dr Akpan incredulously.
“My question exactly,” returned Paul, winking at the nurse.
Doctor Akpan grinned. The nurse smiled.
“I’m glad to see your ordeal hasn’t worsened your sense of humour,” joked Akpan.
Paul laughed, softly. He couldn’t laugh his usual booming laugh even if he wanted to, the effort would deliver him into a painful paroxysm of coughing. Last time, he had coughed so hard he literally heard his funny bone snap! He laughed gently now.
“Humour ke? Dat one no concern me. My own issue Doc, is if you’ll allow me drive out of here.”
“Drive? No way! I’ll let your girlfriend pick you though.”
As the doctor left, the nurse lingered for a brief second to drop a small note with what looked like a series of numbers. Paul grinned. She was the one who gave the nice massages right? He slipped the note into his pocket.
At that moment, his i-Pad went into Sleep mode and the screen dissolved into a picture of him and Becks at the Eko hotel. And Fate seemed to speak to him.
His girlfriend eh?

Ikeja
12:00pm

There she is. She doesn’t look pregnant. Did she lie?
Those are the thoughts going through his mind now, guessed Rebecca. She was only half wrong.
It had been raining when they landed, so Tony had to half-sprint across the tarmac. His thoughts had been intent on getting a taxi to Ikeja, then calling her to find out where to meet. It was shocking to pass through the gate and find her standing there staring and waiting. His first thought had been; Oh shit! I’m wet! The second had been; She doesn’t look pregnant.
When Rebecca left the house that morning, her first stop had been at a supermarket to pick something up for Paul. She had run into an old friend there and spent quite a while chatting over meatpies. Then Tony’s text had come through. Apparently, he was headed to the airport to land in two hours or less, and he would want to see her.
Impulse is one of the most familiar traits of pregnant women, or so Rebecca told herself as she raced to the airport. She had not waited long before the arrival of the Azik Airline jet was announced. So here she was, wiping her hands nervously on the legs of her jeggins and staring at the man who first loved her.
“You came..?”
“I did”
“Wow..”
“Right..?”
“Happy Independence.”
They hugged stiffly. A stiff hug, but a lot was said in that brief press of bodies. Some was understood, but much was mistaken, as we would find out later.
“So…you don’t look pregnant..”
Rebecca burst out laughing. “I knew it! I could always read your mind!”
And as it is with old relationships, such statements evoke different sensations and a certain level of pain. They smiled.
“Let’s go Corper,” said Rebecca, recovering first. “Welcome back to Lagos.”

I shall continue this..One last time…

Disclaimer.
*The typos are definitely intentional and act as a true test of the reader’s intellect!(˘̯˘ )
*I have no idea how pregnant women look. ( ._.)
*I actually do like the Globacom network. Which accounts for why I have a Glo phone and modem. Now that I think of it, not so much of a smart plan was it?

NOTE!
The Next Episode would be the LAST episode of Tangles! So, the floor is open. Predict how Tangles! will end!!! There’ll probably be a prize for the best prediction..
And yes, the Interview of the Writer and the scoop, I guess, behind Tangles! would be up very soon. Saturday perhaps…or Friday.

Follow on twitter @janus_aneni

Peace.