I had to check the dictionary, and then because I wasn’t satisfied, check Google for the meaning of fascination before writing this. And good thing I did, because my initial subject of interest was Muhammed Buhari, self-acclaimed leader of Nigeria’s Republic, (self-acclaimed because he supervised and then won a completely corrupt and undemocratic election). But then, I found out fascination doesn’t mean, amazement and stupefaction, because, bless me Jesus, that man leaves me amazed and stupefied with each turn. It actually means admire. So well, I don’t admire Buhari.
See link to previous post here
I admire Mrs Adebowale. Oh, it’s not for the usual stuff: lifegiver, caregiver, constant source of comfort and support and succour. That counts utmostly, but isn’t the focus of this piece. It’s for the one major talent that every parent must learn and then, somehow pass on; it’s for her ability to always seem as though she has everything under control.
Here’s the rub.
I am an adult now, I have responsibilities that choke my responsibilities on a daily basis. I understand how there is a pressure to seem as though everything is under control, even though I’m practically living paycheck to paycheck. On most Saturdays, I look as though everything is alright, everything under control, every harness checked, every letter properly crossed and dotted. But somewhere on Thursday, by about 5:42pm, I am in shambles, struggling to keep every stitch from coming loose, grasping at straws and then pulling on threads, thoughts flying every whichever, basically at odds with myself. It’s barely visible to those afar, but pretty clear to all who are close and familial that I’m stretching at seams. It’s de rigeur, every adult faces it. This woman, though keeps it together, every day of the bloody week. Every week.
She’s strong. Stronger than most people I know, psychologically and physically. She once pinned down a 30 plus year old man who wanted to beat me up, and then talked him into silence. She’s brilliant, one of the most analytical minds I’ve ever seen put problem to the thought mill. She will grind out a workable solution of most problems, be they rock or mountain, without even formal education of that subject matter.
She inspires me to go further, to do more, with all that I have. She is the voice, often behind my ear, telling me not to worry, and to make the best of every situation. She taught me how to delay gratification, a philosophy that rules most of my daily decisions, that has made me a harder worker than I would have been.
Mrs Adebowale fascinates me.
- That fascinate doesn’t mean amaze has really set me back, questioning all the conversations I’ve ever had.